Childhood Training

Learning to use the toilet presents the first great potential conflict between mother and child. Some mental health professionals connect toilet training that is too early or too harsh with later behavior that is obedient but resentful. On the other hand, a child whose toilet training was delayed may develop a self-indulgent, narcissistic personality. A strong atmosphere of conflict surrounding toilet training may cause feelings of guilt, self-doubt and rage.

Modern child development professionals say that toilet training can best accomplished when a child is ready for it and has some sense of assuming responsibility for the functions of his own body that will make him like the adult world. Parents are usually most successful in presenting toilet training as an interesting idea and avoiding an authoritarian manner. One difficulty that must be surmounted in toilet training is that small children have little or no ability to connect the bodily sensation from the bladder or the intestines with the necessity of heading for the bathroom. Some awareness of the function does begin to develop between the 12th and 18th month, but usually at this point the child exhibits some interest but does not anticipate. Even children who are trained have so little ability to anticipate that their need to use the toilet is usually instantaneous. Once children are partly trained, parents can begin to rely on the child’s own resistance to soiling himself rather than constantly reminding him, which may actually delay the time when he is fully trained.